Showing posts with label sex jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex jokes. Show all posts

7/19/11

Dale on a Plane to Atlanta.

A gentleman... ok lets call him Dale - was on a flight to Atlanta had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but found it to be occupied. The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and had a look of pain and anxiety on his face. “Sir,” she said, “the ladies’ restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.

Dale was about to poop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: “WW”, “WA”, and “PP”, and there was one red button labeled “ATR.”

Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn’t just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the “WW” button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The men’s restroom didn’t have nice things like this.

Anticipating even greater pleasure, Dale then pressed the “WA” button. Warm air replaced the warm water, wafting and swirling about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the “PP” button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies’ room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender, loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy.

He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. ”What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies’ restroom on a flight to Atlanta!

“You pushed one too many buttons,” replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. “That last button marked “ATR” is an automatic tampon remover. Your penis is under your pillow.

6/27/11

Wingz and his Matchbox company. =)

My friend Wingz is a very enterprising guy. I mean, he is such an entrepreneur, he owns many different businesses - and he is also a photographer and basically, he does many many things.

He owns a hair saloon... I dunno if its dodgy or not, or whether the shop offers 'extra happy ending services'.. LOL.

But you do know he is very diversified, and he even has a building in Hong Kong.

Recently, he started a matchbox company, making matches... to market the products, he decided to put images of his favourite sex positions... n here are the pictures...

See... one for every single day of the week!!! =)

6/6/11

How To Survive a SEX SCANDAL!???

Nobody's more prone to, or used to, a juicy scandal than your favourite Tinseltown celeb. And while it's great entertainment fodder and weekend viewing on E! News, there's actually something to be learnt. Let them make the mistakes so you can learn about it. After all, no one's an angel, and no one should have to be.

The scandal: Caught with your pants around your ankles...literally

The chaos:

In this instance, it really depends who caught you. If it's a complete stranger who didn't whip out his phone and start clicking away, just get your stuff together and get out of there as soon as you can. If it was the police, you're probably looking at an arrest for indecent public exposure and behaviour.

How to survive:

If your problem is with the law, we say hang your head in shame, do what you're told to get the matter sorted. If you were caught by a stranger, it probably is the lesser of two evils. And, while the initial embarrassment will no doubt be an issue, chances are, the person who caught you two in the act won't even remember what you looked like within the next week.